There is no other way to describe it. Divorce sucks!!
When one is in the middle of it, its easy to feel negative about almost everything. Divorce knocked my world upside down and I’m beginning from ground zero. What will I do? How will I make it this month? If only I had been prepared, if only I knew…
Where I came from, my lifestyle of the rich and not famous… Where I lived without worrying about cost, spending $$ on fine dining, the gorgeous shoes, gardener, maid, the House… The only thing I really had to worry about was my broken nail and getting it fixed! The picture of a luxurious carefree lifestyle.
Easy to live in the wishful thinking and dwelling on the negative. That’s the easy part. The hard part is seeing something positive out of it. But is it?
What’s positive about having $60 dollars in the bank account and its only mid-month?! What’s positive about no job, feeding 3 kids, and credit card debt?!! What’s positive about not having any $$ to pay the attorney fees and no idea where it will come from?! Hahaa! Nothing!
Ok, so I have it bad. I have it really Really bad. But honestly I’m not complaining. It isn’t about thinking positive, or negative, it’s about thinking about it as just what it is, with no emotion to it. Just facts.
I know how to turn this situation around. I know how to get things done, it’s the DOing part that I get stuck on. How am I going to DO it?! If I stop putting emotion to it, I can do anything!
I can let the past choices get to me, but that gets me nowhere. So I will not even go there. It doesn’t help any!
I’ve asked myself, do I swallow my pride and work at a restaurant, do I hire myself out to clean houses? What would I be good at? How will I survive with my 3 growing kids on virtually nothing for the rest of the month?!
When survival is on the table, a mother’s desperation kicks in and guess what, there is no room for pride. I realized that I will do almost ANYTHING, just so my kids will have food in their tummy, a roof over their head, transportation, etc… Mothers Survival is in the bag! We have surviving DOWN!
I shall DO whatever I have to do. Dog-walking, baby sitting, anything and everything I can do.
It isn’t about what I came from, my dignity remains intact. Take anyone, strip everything away,… we all are the same. It makes no difference. We all are just who we are, people. People who love, hurt, give and take. Just people.
And there is always someone else who could use that $60, more than me and my three. I have everything to be thankful for. Everything!