Tag Archives: humanity

the pleasure of living ~

The question hung in the air between them, like a cartoon cloud with the words in bold.
‘”Why did you marry my Dad?” There was pain and anger in his eyes as he looked at her with his fists at his sides.
She looked at him, love and tenderness sparkling in her smile as she said,” Oh honey, it was the War! All of us girls married the soldiers going off to War. We knew they wouldn’t make it! It was the least we could do, to carry on their name.” She smiled and opened her arms. He hesitated and walked in, wrapping his arms around her waist, burring his blond head in her apron. Bright teary green eyes looked up and he nodded. He finally understood why his Mom was so happy.
“Every day is a reminder of our freedom, because of what your Dad did. And I would dishonor him and his sacrifice, if I didn’t live my life as happy as I could and loving every minute of it!” She wiped tears off his face and kissed his forehead.
He was looking like his dad more every day, she had said, and that made it ok now. He would never know him, never see him, but he would live every day, with his Dad’s name and the love and respect his Mom had for the man of valor, going off to war. It was ok now, to smile, to laugh, to live.


F That!!

 

 

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Have you ever been in a moment where you Stop, and with the information you have, respond with one extreme or the other?

OF COURSE You have!!!

You go through the 3F’s!  Freeze. Flight. Fight.

Response time varies with each brain process. Mine is sometimes slow. I probably take a good 2 seconds to figure out if I will F or F.

It was my gf’s bday and we had just come back from a massage where they wrote ‘happy birthday’ in chocolate with a little melting chocolate covered mouse cake and some delightful champagne.

By the time we had got set up with several toasts in and a mini foto shoot at the pool, …Life was good!

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And the rest is story.

Looking at the 3Fs, I consider why I respond the way I do.

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Is it my commitment? Where my thoughts and emotions are in the moment? Does it have to do with my past experience? Some learned patterns?

What is the reason for responding with a Freeze, Flight or Fight? We all respond.

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By wiki definition: a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival.

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Lets take a look at it, shall we?

Freeze: no need for explanation

Flight: self- explanatory

Fight: yep!

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Okay, so we have outlined what each response does and the conclusion is in the chocolate.

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Survival of Self.

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Glorious… Fabulous… Extraordinary… Self.

 


Numero Uno… bite me!

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It became clear to me when I was preparing for my second attempt at a mock presentation that I had a way that life occurs for me. I come in second.

I’m a middle child, I describe myself as being second to the last, and I always pass my tests the second time around. I have Second like its a Statement for my Life! Look Everyone, I’m a Second Place Winner! Yay!

Something that I have told my sons when they are feeling down is, ‘…and remember, you beat the millions!’

Thinking about that today while getting ready for my second mock attempt, I’m actually first! I just have a ‘second place’ occurring in how I view myself, and apart from being perfectly right and cool to keep that occurring, I am also powerful and can create how I will occur newly. Its a choice, and I may have millions of ways in which I can occur for myself.

Being present with my humanity and looking around me at all the people, who are living and breathing and walking and working and laughing and crying and loving and hating and the small people and the big people and the people who stink and the people who smell nice and the People….

They are all Firsts, and They all have beat the Millions, when it counted in the Game of LIFE, and how privileged we all are to be walking around and smiling and laughing and winking at the other people who are First, just like You and just like me! How Awesome is THAT?!

My View I choose is one that allows me to win at my game. I choose to be a Winner, to succeed at what I do today because I am already a number ONE human being!


Mr. Wrong is Not a pussy!

It was Mr. Right, in Mr. Wrong’s body.

He was 50, not my normal date range, but ok. Actually I didn’t know it was a date to begin with. I understood we were meeting to talk business. Nope! Well, that too I guess.

I had a great time, and I think he did as well, but on some level we did not click.

Okay, he wasn’t Mr. R but he had a lot of the characteristics that fit my profile and in my history, that’s a huge step of improvement!

Granted, I’ve only been learning how to date for less than 18 months, and I’d consider I’m still new at this. I’m sure I said odd things and may have turned people off, but you know what, that is who I am, and fortunately for me, they’ve all been clearly Mr. Wrongs.

This guy however was different. I won’t go into details, but really I came away with,  “finally I’ve dated someone who is NOT a pussy!”

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The great thing is that I have come far in my healing process to be able to date someone who fits my profile of manly-man gentleman warrior instead of guys who I’d consider my bro or less pussies, knowing there could never be anything further.

Its the recovery time I needed. Go out with non-threatening guys, because they won’t break your heart. It worked. Except my heart was not free to be broken, it was being mended. I needed to take that time before being able to really open up the possibility of a new relationship with someone. 

Huge steps! I spoke with my life coach who had encouraged me, “If you want a new man in your life, clear some space in your heart. Make space in the closet! And be open for when it happens. ”

I did. The space is cleared and I was able to attract the right kind of MAN. Its a good thing.

Now I know, only forward from here!


dream cinders

On the Beach

On the beach

A dress to burn

Loves dazed dream

Of heart sick spurned

The smoky light

Of a settling night

Murmurs of past

Cindering in Flight

Glorious day

Once larger than life

Lay in ash

Gentle facade of a wife

Labor of the day

Love of the night

The toil of hearts

Taking flight

Be gone, be gone

Days of strife

Seek the love

Of ones very life

And that moment

Of accepted grief

Dreams of always

Seek hearts relief

~ Lisa Lee

Healing Cinders


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