The coffee foam swirled in the large cup and I watched it go round and round, watching the cinnamon making lines in the foam inside the circle. I took a sip. Cold.
I thought to myself, who am I? What kind of life do I want to have? What am I doing?
Someone told me a few days back, make a list of all the things in your life you want to improve. Good advice.
I made my list. All the things I want to improve, all the complaints about my life, my home, my career, my time management, my finances, and so on.
As I made this list, I realized something profound. My favorite saying, Questa e la vita cosa che poui fare, This is the life, it is just what it is,… is NOT just what it is, It IS what It ISN’T!
My life, the day in and day out, the moments, with my kids, with friends and fam, the small increments of time I cherish and don’t, the things that don’t get done, the appointments I forget, the big pile of laundry to fold, …the life I create, that is what it is. And it is what it is not.
What it is not is the life that I want and choose for myself. I choose a different life and I am in the same vein, feeling puny and powerless to have that life I choose to have.
Why is that? I’m looking at that life from the view of Here and Now, with my list of upcoming meetings to make, the deadlines needing to be met, and at home… the laundry on my bed, the dishes in the sink, the littler box needing to be cleaned again, the tires on my minivan needing to be changed… This, is my View and that is why I’m feeling powerless to do anything about it.
The life I want to live is free of the constraints of the Here and Now, to have the successes I dream about and want, the lives I want to touch with love and kindness of being who I am, the people I want to help save, the lifestyle I choose to live, the accomplishments I set out to attain, and I am looking at all that, all of it with the view of right Here and right Now. None of it will never get done!!! Its a pussified view and it makes me exhausted to look at it!! I have no way of getting there if I look at it with my pussyglasses. Stop IT!!
Stop being a pussy and get some IRON BALLS! Keep those new Ray Bans View on your face Lady and start living your life with some Giant-Assed Iron Balls! Your future you are living into, is now, RIGHT NOW! Stop the Pussytalk!
I smiled to myself as I got into my minivian and looked through the upside down number 2 my son had drawn with marker on my windshield. I was thinking 5 years from now, how my life will have changed so much and who I will have become, where I will be living. It was with the determination of inspiration, I drove away from the coffee shop.
My day just got fun and very busy.