Tag Archives: reality

F That!!

 

 

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Have you ever been in a moment where you Stop, and with the information you have, respond with one extreme or the other?

OF COURSE You have!!!

You go through the 3F’s!  Freeze. Flight. Fight.

Response time varies with each brain process. Mine is sometimes slow. I probably take a good 2 seconds to figure out if I will F or F.

It was my gf’s bday and we had just come back from a massage where they wrote ‘happy birthday’ in chocolate with a little melting chocolate covered mouse cake and some delightful champagne.

By the time we had got set up with several toasts in and a mini foto shoot at the pool, …Life was good!

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And the rest is story.

Looking at the 3Fs, I consider why I respond the way I do.

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Is it my commitment? Where my thoughts and emotions are in the moment? Does it have to do with my past experience? Some learned patterns?

What is the reason for responding with a Freeze, Flight or Fight? We all respond.

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By wiki definition: a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival.

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Lets take a look at it, shall we?

Freeze: no need for explanation

Flight: self- explanatory

Fight: yep!

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Okay, so we have outlined what each response does and the conclusion is in the chocolate.

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Survival of Self.

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Glorious… Fabulous… Extraordinary… Self.

 


Numero Uno… bite me!

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It became clear to me when I was preparing for my second attempt at a mock presentation that I had a way that life occurs for me. I come in second.

I’m a middle child, I describe myself as being second to the last, and I always pass my tests the second time around. I have Second like its a Statement for my Life! Look Everyone, I’m a Second Place Winner! Yay!

Something that I have told my sons when they are feeling down is, ‘…and remember, you beat the millions!’

Thinking about that today while getting ready for my second mock attempt, I’m actually first! I just have a ‘second place’ occurring in how I view myself, and apart from being perfectly right and cool to keep that occurring, I am also powerful and can create how I will occur newly. Its a choice, and I may have millions of ways in which I can occur for myself.

Being present with my humanity and looking around me at all the people, who are living and breathing and walking and working and laughing and crying and loving and hating and the small people and the big people and the people who stink and the people who smell nice and the People….

They are all Firsts, and They all have beat the Millions, when it counted in the Game of LIFE, and how privileged we all are to be walking around and smiling and laughing and winking at the other people who are First, just like You and just like me! How Awesome is THAT?!

My View I choose is one that allows me to win at my game. I choose to be a Winner, to succeed at what I do today because I am already a number ONE human being!


Beautiful…

Beautiful

The balmy dense air touched my skin through my clothes. Clouds moved in thick light puffs across the dark starred sky, blocking. The night lanterns placed here and there dripped with moisture, heat and dimmed the large glass encasings, which brought a kind of romantic hue to the solitary night.

My gaze… appreciating the pink in the martini glass that rested on the low wide wicker arm, watching the tiny bug circle and circle the clear glass, avoiding the condensation.

Mirroring the hushed light of the late night, my mind deep in thought. The days before… behind.

Under the glimmer of dark, I listened to a group of young men, the table over. It was interesting and not. Almost, I piped in to add to the conversation, and …no. Let me, be.

Earlier,

Hello boys!

“We followed you out here where it’s cooler.”

Yes, it was simply unbearable in there!

“Hahaaa.”

As I sat long reclining on the cushion-less chair, my seat sore from the long drive of the day, I listened and relaxed and enjoyed.

The deep male voices and my pink raspberry martini. Soaking in the night, with me.

A date with me. For a blissful first moment of time, I wasn’t missing something. For a blissful moment, my alone became… beautiful.

 


I’m talkin’ PUSSY! Stop it!!

New View

The coffee foam swirled in the large cup and I watched it go round and round, watching the cinnamon making lines in the foam inside the circle. I took a sip. Cold.

I thought to myself, who am I? What kind of life do I want to have? What am I doing?

Someone told me a few days back, make a list of all the things in your life you want to improve. Good advice.

I made my list. All the things I want to improve, all the complaints about my life, my home, my career, my time management, my finances, and so on.

As I made this list, I realized something profound. My favorite saying, Questa e la vita cosa che poui fare, This is the life, it is just what it is,… is NOT just what it is, It IS what It ISN’T!

My life, the day in and day out, the moments, with my kids, with friends and fam, the small increments of time I cherish and don’t, the things that don’t get done, the appointments I forget, the big pile of laundry to fold, …the life I create, that is what it is. And it is what it is not.

What it is not is the life that I want and choose for myself. I choose a different life and I am in the same vein, feeling puny and powerless to have that life I choose to have.

Why is that? I’m looking at that life from the view of Here and Now, with my list of upcoming meetings to make, the deadlines needing to be met, and at home… the laundry on my bed, the dishes in the sink, the littler box needing to be cleaned again, the tires on my minivan needing to be changed… This, is my View and that is why I’m feeling powerless to do anything about it.

The life I want to live is free of the constraints of the Here and Now, to have the successes I dream about and want, the lives I want to touch with love and kindness of being who I am, the people I want to help save, the lifestyle I choose to live, the accomplishments I set out to attain, and I am looking at all that, all of it with the view of right Here and right Now. None of it will never get done!!! Its a pussified view and it makes me exhausted to look at it!! I have no way of getting there if I look at it with my pussyglasses. Stop IT!!

Stop being a pussy and get some IRON BALLS! Keep those new Ray Bans View on your face Lady and start living your life with some Giant-Assed Iron Balls! Your future you are living into, is now, RIGHT NOW! Stop the Pussytalk!

I smiled to myself as I got into my minivian and looked through the upside down number 2 my son had drawn with marker on my windshield. I was thinking 5 years from now, how my life will have changed so much and who I will have become, where I will be living. It was with the determination of inspiration, I drove away from the coffee shop.

My day just got fun and very busy.

 

 


dream cinders

On the Beach

On the beach

A dress to burn

Loves dazed dream

Of heart sick spurned

The smoky light

Of a settling night

Murmurs of past

Cindering in Flight

Glorious day

Once larger than life

Lay in ash

Gentle facade of a wife

Labor of the day

Love of the night

The toil of hearts

Taking flight

Be gone, be gone

Days of strife

Seek the love

Of ones very life

And that moment

Of accepted grief

Dreams of always

Seek hearts relief

~ Lisa Lee

Healing Cinders


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